Poem 22: Alive (Because of You)

Alive (Because of You)

Because of you
because of your love
you made the choice to die
because of your love

all I can do is look back
blinking my eyes in awe
I am still alive
because of you


I was hiding there
knowing there was
nothing I could do,
but then you came along & said
there was something you could do

then time just froze
and no one knows
how much this took from you
but now ‘it is finished’
and I thank you

it's so hard to comprehend...
this choice that you have made
no one else you pushed forward in your place
your love was too strong...
to send someone else along
so you gave your own life
...because of your love


I'm not bound by my past
but I can't live not looking back
replaying your last moments in my head

it's hard to comprehend...
that your love was so strong
when I never loved you all along

but now I live each day...
in a reflection of your pain
all I can see is
.. your love

it's too good to be true
I deserved my death
- but not to you
you changed my life always
..by your love

Because of you
because of your love
you made the choice to die
because of your love

that is all now that i know
& my gratitude i show
thank you for my life
...and for your love

in the memory
the testimony
of what you've done for me
I will do the same right back
...in your love

I'll stand for the things you would
if you were here & could
my life, my all, each breath
...because of you

Thank You is never enough

Cheryl Tower - Dec 04, 2005

All rights reserved, © Speechless Star. Copying without permission for non-personal use is forbidden.

Poem 21: Sometimes...

 

*THINK LYRICS! it's different*

Sometimes...

Why do I feel this way
when I don't do a thing
\...unless I choose to\

times like these don't make sense

I don't know why it happens
\...everything went wrong\

sometimes
the answer to why
has to be a better one
to make the right choice

\--when did my emotions fall apart?
this isn't what I wanted!
I can't see how this choice could be wrong...

it's all I wanted! \

Sometimes
my first answer to why
isn't the better one
but I can't wait that long...

sometimes
the answer is why
when I do what I want
then feel like dying


\--when did my world fall apart?
this isn't what 1 wanted!


I can't see
why it all went wrong...
haven't I been asking?\


I try to do the right thing
always asking myself...
- what I'm doing

but then I fall through the cracks
end up right back,
\where I started\

Sometimes
the answer to why
has to be a better one
to make the right choice

Sometimes
the answer to why
has to be a better one
then I've been hearing

Sometimes I just wanna cry
til I realize...

\that I could change it all\

 

 

Cheryl Tower - Dec 04, 2005

All rights reserved, © Cheryl Tower. Copying without permission for non-personal use is forbidden.

Poem 20: My Story

My Story
I am getting older
older and colder
each-day opportunities lost
my heart counts the cost


I keep repeating -
my hopes & my dreams
I'll never get there
til I'm too old it seems...

oh I get impatient, discouraged at times
(this is amazing, I'm working the rhymes!)

When will this happen?
Is this the One?’
my desires continue,
it's not all that fun! :p

\(but it will be!)\


twenty-two feels so O1d you see
though I know a rush
ruins what God has for me

I have no clue
just what is in store
He Loves me so much,
& wants so much more

He wants me ready,
and everything right
but God's plan needs timing,
which might take a fight

the right guy is coming... someday, oh someday

there is no rushing these things, I must say
all I can do while I wait & keep pure
is doing my part to be Ready for sure

waiting, Waiting... for the will of the Lord
His plan is much better, deeper... much more!

so I will pass over my will for these things
to see what this gift from the Father will mean :)

preparing myself, prayer all the time
someday my dreams will come true & be mine

if I wrote my story
and I took control
it would be different
i'd fal1 down for sure


I would've been married just after high school
have two little kiddos, their father would rule! (<-- as in be awesome! lol)


I'm glad I didn't take my life in my hands
I would have disgruntled the marvelous plans

"so thankful to you
you knew what to do
not take my plans and tear them apart
you lead me on through
and carefully proved
that you would take care of my heart"

His ways have a Purpose, i try to remember
as I just let go, His hand wrote September!! (thanks!)
for life to be beautiful, more than i'd compose
I must let Him write my full future I know

so I will let go of my paper and pen
to watch Him reach over my shoulder again

I'll let Him continue
without any fear
for Jesus ever reaches
& draws me near

my story will flow
such beauty I'll know


the final chapter so grand
by the experts at hand
the world's Great Author
to write my "the end".

Cheryl Tower, Dec 01, 2005

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*Later in life reading this I'm wondering why I left this way of thinking and started doing my own thing again. Messing up my story. But I know God allows things not good for us to mold and teach us. Everything the enemy plans for evil God turns it around and brings good from it every single time.

Poem 19: Treasures in Heaven

This was an entry for the contest called The Wealth of Nations. we were asked to write something about wealth.

Treasures in Heaven

my home is far from me
yet here i have all i need
i will not waste it away

the reward will come later
for i cannot stay here
my Father will carry me Home

I may seem poor
but i'll walk out that door
if things are all you want from me

i cannot cave in
to moment'ry sin
selfishness won't gain a thing

i feel so rich
nothing to wish
my Spirit is happy, no less

i'm a friend of the king
all that matters to Him
and me...

i've been made clean
such a blessing

therefore I am...
the wealthiest person I know

Cheryl Tower Dec 1st 2005

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Poem 18: Desensitized

Desensitized.

Desensitized -
This is the truth:

we don't want to believe
and we cannot see
in front of our eyes
there's nothing but lies
there is a thick shell
like fog, can't you tell?
it's keeping us Blinded for now

Desensitized -
We Say:

what do we want?
whatever you've got!
why would you...
but why wouldn't you?
whatever,
forever...
i ran over a cat (meh)
there is nothing deeper than that

there is a truth:

i choose to believe
yes we can all see
beauty in front of our eyes
to break through each lie
there's no more shells
but proofs we can Te11!
that's what i see - freedom for now


but the shell does not break
the world will not take it away :)

we want nothing more
no hope, life is poor
our spirits have died
we're Desensitized
by the world around...
no life can be found
all bound up in chains

let go of the reigns

no kind of control...
closer to a big hole
where it all is a dream
no one can be seen...

We're
Desensitized-
too many lies...
blinded inside
no place to hide.

what is life?

Cheryl Tower Dec 01, 2005

 All rights reserved, © Cheryl Tower. Copying without permission for non-personal use is forbidden.

Poem 17: Raindrops (not just one)

 

Raindrops (not just one)


each little drip

may not seem like much

but together they come down



listen hard

listen closely

together they make one sound



beautiful ripples

causing change

the longer I stay still



i surrender...

washing, soaking

waiting here at Your will



just one drop

can't quench my thirst

Yet in unity they come!



One small drip

won't make the difference

make a flower turn to bloom



each drop adding

each increasing

becoming more than on their own



such beauty...

such peace spreading

everything i never dreamed



I'm not just hungry

needing one more

this is not all for my gain



yet I Need each drop

falling on me

from the heavens to the earth



helping me to grow

watching you flow

i am thankful for your reign!



\everything lines up

everything flows so beautifully,

Thank You\

Nov 28, 2005 - Cheryl Tower

 

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Poem 16: Rising Up

 

Rising Up


...I fall once more...


tripping on my crown

tripping on my feet

letting myself down

falling so deep



thinking this is it

thinking there's no more



seeing no more light

seeing no more hope

fallen once last night

nowhere left to go



is there one place?

Is there still more grace?



Breathing in more hope

breathing out the worst

something good may come

i still feel the thirst



too many times



letting my faith fade

letting things just be

hearing i'm not saved

giving up the key



i just can't let go

to that fate I scream NO!



hearing “dont give up”

hearing “give your all”

saying “i'm still loved”

knowing my faith calls




opening my eyes

for the millionth time



wanting it all right

wanting you again

i will fight the fight

this is not the end



struggling to rise

not wanting just the prize



feeling the chains fall

feeling overwhelmed

giving back my all

knowing You're my friend



lifting my hands high

Your beauty makes me cry



feeling my heart sing

feeling Your strong arms

greatest place to be

where there is no harm



thankful for each scar

bringing me so far



teaching me Your grace

teaching me each day

guiding every way

such increasing faith




\Thank You

Again.\

Nov 24, 2005 - Cheryl Tower

 

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Poem 15: You Write the Music (Only When you Say)

You Write the Music (Only When you Say)


I believe...

Completeness, fullness, is Your will

but only when you say



I believe...

The name of Jesus has power to heal

but only when You say



So wait.



When I hear You say Yes

I can't assume I am best

or the time is Now



You have a Time

all things must align

I must be listening



You have a plan

& there is one man

chosen for the task



So it's ok

if nothing happened today

I still know it will

but only when You say



So I'll wait for that day

when I know you will say:




“You are mine

Now is the time

and this is all for My Glory

You are free because I say”



\Teach me to walk in Your ways

and seek for Today

what the Father is doing and saying to me\

Nov 22, 2005 - Cheryl Tower

 

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Poem 14: Make it Count

Make it Count


Nothing can be done

soon the end will come



why continue to fear it

no way to escape it

we'll all have our time

so at the end of the line...

there is nothing you can do



don't waste your time away

always saying “Some other day”

always doesn't last forever

we must enjoy our time together

it all will end s o m e d a y



What is the point of all this?

Absolutely Nothing

U n l e s s...

Nov 21, 2005 - Cheryl Tower

 

All rights reserved, © Cheryl Tower. Copying without permission for non-personal use is forbidden.

Poem 13: Open My Eyes

 

Open My Eyes


Open my eyes and look at the clock

I'm enjoying my sleep so why should I stop



my bed is so warm, outside it's so cold

excuses, excuses they're all getting old



I don't have to pee so why did I wake

One more decision you want me to make



I love you – lead me in Your will I pray

but not in the morning, later today



I woke for no reason or so I assume

try again later, maybe at noon



If I choose to listen maybe I'd hear

“I just couldn't wait to spend time with you dear”



Keep my eyes open & I'd hear much more

Maybe I'd find out all you have in store



the choice to sleep is deeper you see

“Will you open your eyes for you or for Me”

So I'll get moving, for Your will I pray

Excited to find out the plans for the day



Your way.


\Yahweh\


of course,

Sometimes you don't mind if i sleep

but I should be focused, asking at least



\Morning time can make the whole day beautiful.\

Nov 20, 2005 - Cheryl Tower

 

All rights reserved, © Cheryl Tower. Copying without permission for non-personal use is forbidden.

Poem 12: Dream

 

Dream


Once again I close my eyes

dream of what could be

the things I dream of course

could never happen to me



I've set my mind on what will be

set my mind no future for me

I've set my mind, set my mind

set my mind UNSET YOUR MIND



WAKE UP, this is reality

unset your mind, listen to me



close your eyes

dream things that could be

it happened to me, happened to be

happened to me, just look and see

Nov 20, 2005 - Cheryl Tower

 

All rights reserved, © Cheryl Tower. Copying without permission for non-personal use is forbidden.

Poem 11: Take The Chance

 

Take the Chance


They take it all away

your life and your pride

 

blame them all for now

while hurting inside



you think: no one cares for you

what happens to your life

they see: you could do anything

when you'd rather die (fear)

so why even try (fear)



you find nothing worthwhile

no reason to smile



you spin,

sinking deeper now

what a rut you find yourself in



Can you get out?



You're able, you wait

but it's all in your will

you must work just a little

to stand back up straight



it's fine, take your time

reach the front of the line



free what's been bound,

rebuild what's been broken

reach for the top

never stop hoping



\ This is your chance \



you were the victim

you were in pain

you can take those rights away

breaking free from every chain



\ restoration... \



finding who you really are

healing wounds = triumphant scars

they try to take it all away

it won't work this time, no way



Live your life, don't fall again

Living pays off in the end



though doubts cross your mind

you can make it stop for good

break the enemy's back

like you never thought you could



just put your hand in...

let your heart race

you may see the joker

but you could find the Ace



\ You must not give up\

\ you must live \

Nov 19, 2005 - Cheryl Tower

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Poem 10: The Hand of Truth

 

The Hand of Truth


Truth remains in your h a n d s

turn around, and time is lost



no longer on the path

w a n d e r i n g through the trees



take your t i m e or hurry up

the choice is always y o u r s



a n y day could be too late

there are no dozen chances



will you let go and g i v e up

pass into death's open arms...

Why sink or get stuck – press on

there's a treasure to be won



there's truth behind the fog

or better still b e y o n d the clouds

we can all find out how...

though the clouds break our v i e w

the sun with break through

keep reaching for the hands of t r u t h

Nov 18, 2005 - Cheryl Tower

 

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Poem 9: New Life

 

New Life


The way to find answers

is to ask many questions

as a child -

looking at things for the first time




young and not knowing,

asking where, how and mostly why

as a child -

seeing the world for the first time




no worry about the future

quick to forgive, moving on

as a child -

freedom from the past for the last time




admiring beauty around us

enjoying the differences of others

as a child -

watching miracles of life for the first time




sharing own opinions

no worry what others think

as a child -

peeling away the pride for the first time

Nov 18, 2005 - Cheryl Tower

 

All rights reserved, © Cheryl Tower. Copying without permission for non-personal use is forbidden.

Poem 8: Got to be True

 

Got to be True



I've strived to find happiness,

I knew there was more...

What I've found today

I refused to believe before.




It just couldn't be real,

“That's for someone else.”

Now I've turned from all I knew,

I found no joy living false.




This is my life

Why abandon what I need?

I've got to be happy,

I've got to be me.



~ Now finding peace and joy in the truth

of who I am and what exists

Nov 18, 2005 - Cheryl Tower

 

All rights reserved, © Cheryl Tower. Copying without permission for non-personal use is forbidden.

Poem 7: Later Love

 

Later Love


I caught your heart,

But thought I would run off with it...

And bring it back another day.



Later,

maybe I could love you.



Absorbed...

With my own feelings,

Even though I'm hiding.



Longing...

To be your one and only

To be... Loved,

Even when I'm pushing away.

Wanting to hear you say,

...You need me.



I don't want you, and

I don't need you

But I do.



...Later

maybe I could love you.



Egocentric...

Never gets it

Pretending...

I am yours,

Later.




Who can I fool,

Walking with you...

When I want to cry?

I never ask myself why...




Later,

Maybe I could love you.




What could happen, tomorrow?




...I could never make it right

...Never let you hold me tight




Thinking...

“I can't trust him”




Letting...

my pupils

grow dim.

Finding...

My heart locked up,

And even I have lost the key.




Later,

maybe I could love you.




Love...

Is what we're here for,

But I can't do this anymore...



Fragile...

though I'd never show it.

Hopeless

though I'll never know it.



Just – Later,

maybe I could Love you



Later,

Maybe I could let myself be Loved.

Nov 18, 2005 - Cheryl Tower 

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Poem 6: A Silver "Sorry"

 

A Silver “Sorry”

I walked away and sang

Silverless Songs

Wasting time that wasn't mine




I don't even have the words,

Don't even know how...

All I can say is “Sorry”

“Hope we're ok...”




It's not about me,

Yet You made it that way...




I care so much,

Don't know what's wrong...

No need to figure it out...

I'm just sorry about it all.




I'll try

I'll get it right

True Life is always calling...




So much Love...

All for free.




Yet I walk away

and sing

Silverless Songs...

Wasting time that's not mine,

And Knowing

I'll try to take it back again,

with another silver sorry...

that I can't afford

Just cause

Right now I want much more




Undeserving,

Should be dead.

I can't sing silver songs,

When I know I'm silverless:

Poor in my soul...




\Grace\




Then your gifts humble me...

My gratitude must be given free

Thank You for letting me

Feel silverless when I sing




I know I need to make it right

Can't go through this one more night




Silver Songs...

The best offering

I long to bring

I'm Sorry




\I Love you too.\

Nov 17, 2005 - Cheryl Tower

 

All rights reserved, © Cheryl Tower. Copying without permission for non-personal use is forbidden.

Poem 5: This Face

 

This was written for a contest with a photo of a girl. I wish I had the photo!! She reminded me of Josie I had met earlier that day at work. The other nurses introduced me from a distance and told me her story, which now I will share with you. I was working as a student nurse in long term care, and this girl was disabled after an accident. Even the way the tongue is breaking through the girls lips in the photo reminded me of her. It was her birthday today and she could never have looked so lost.

This Face.

Oh Lord, how could it be

Your dear child, the face I see

Such beauty and such despair

crumpled up in one big chair?



My heart and soul can't help but flow

Her brother she will never know

Still sixteen when her body was broken

Responsibility lived, but never has spoken



Such beauty I see

Such youth and purity

How and why did her brother die

/But her body holds strong/



undeserving innocence

breathing in the circumstance



Oh how I long to see her smile

Like I see on her file

Refreshing joy to fill her eyes

and hope filling her mind




Bless her Lord with more than this

Bless her with a reason to live

open her lips to speak and sing

i trust you can bring healing



This is not her weight to bear

a heavy cross up broken stairs



Oh Lord it cannot be

The right for this to happen, free

little Jo needs hope and life

not thoughts that wound her like a knife



Let my compassion be enough

to break Your heart, pour out Love

Your touch of fire is needed here

Reveal Yourself, erase her fears



Show Your power to all today

Give her a gift of freedom I pray

Amaze the minds with Mercy and Grace

For all who have met this beautiful face.

Nov 17, 2005 - Cheryl Tower

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Poem 4: Humanity: In Need of Unity

 

Humanity: In Need of Unity



Here we are,

together again...

Why do i long to hide?




We may not be the same

but I am all you have




why do I kick you

when you can barely stand?

Selfishly,

I only want to succeed

so I can look down at your jealous face




We may not be the same

but you are longing for me




what right do i have

to shatter your slate,

eat your last meal,

and sweep up the crumbs?




We may not be the same

but I could satisfy your soul




I choose not to participate

in our three legged race

i will do nothing

get out of my way




we may not be the same

but I am all you need

and i need you too.

Nov 17, 2005 - Cheryl Tower

 

 All rights reserved, © Cheryl Tower. Copying without permission for non-personal use is forbidden.

Poem 3: My Happy Hour

 "Happy Hour” is a contest title that made me think

about what i would enjoy doing most in an evening...

Or any other time as my “Happy Hour”...  since I don't feel the need to drink to feel good.


**To understand the term soaking though: 

It means basicly to rest and drink in the Holy Spirit, 

so I guess it is a form of drinking lol

My Happy Hour – Soaking


If I could have some extra time

Oh what I would do

I wouldn't have to spend a dime

or even have to move!




My “Happy Hour” is spent with God

and all that this requires

is finding grace, finding rest, and

welcoming His desires...

Nov 16, 2005 - Cheryl Tower

 

 

All rights reserved, © Cheryl Tower. Copying without permission for non-personal use is forbidden.

Poem 2: Am I In or Out?

Am I In or Out?



You're like a wave I want to catch
like a river flowing constantly

I want to find myself lost in Your flow
Where You are, what You're doing

You're so beautiful, high above me
Yet You welcome me, ask me to join You
Always calling, whispering my name

You hold out Your hands

I am overwhelmed by who You are
Even more that You look my way
Long for me, reach for me

You are patient when I hold back
Resisting the jump

I’m fearful I won't be able to keep up
Worrying I will disappoint You
but You are full of grace

There is no way to slow You down

Thank You for understanding my hesitation
the current is strong,
so the choice is to sink or swim

You don't mind if I start out slowly
As long as I make the jump, choosing You
I will gain speed, learning as I go

Thank You for Your friendship
For teaching me, equipping me with the tools I need

You give me the strength to push harder
and always help me to see further
You are the reason I choose to breathe

So, I am In.

Nov. 15, 2005 - Cheryl Tower

 

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Poem 1: The Truth Inside of You (original)

The Truth Inside of You (original)

There is a truth deep within,

that shines through the holes of your shell...

Enough light to lead me through the dark...

So I will never give up, trying to reach your heart.




I can see the truth inside of you,

written deep between the lines...

Displayed for those who care to see...

What is real within, beyond those eyes.




Anyone can pretend,

but the world is not a show...

Playing a part is not what we call Life.

(I'll pick up the pieces you forget to hide)




(What does it mean to hide how you feel?)

Don't stumble in the shadows going nowhere...

Break free,

Live in reality!

Nov 11, 2005 - Cheryl Tower

 

 

All rights reserved, © Cheryl Tower. Copying without permission for non-personal use is forbidden.

The History:

 

I used to write a lot on a website poetry group called All Poetry. My name there was Speechless Star. I wrote alot and made friends who would read mine and I would read theirs and comment on each others. Alot of what I wrote was faith based as well as my friends I made. It was a great outlet and documentation of the processes of my faith journey.

I had a very controlling boyfriend. It was long distance and every day hed ask me if i talked to any other guys that day at college/work etc. He wanted me to avoid other men. I grew up with a single mom and a sister so never had any good examples of men in my life. When he visited me in person he got me to throw out all the photos I had of me with any other male. Ex boyfriends made sense but that included my prom and memories with my group of friends in high school and youth group. I drew the line when he wanted me to toss the one of me and my youth group the weekend I gave my life completely to God. It was a great memory I couldn't part with, so he let me keep that one.

So, when he finally read some of my poetry the only thing he said was who is this guy commenting on your poems? Nevermind that it was all faith centered and this guy was openly engaged! My boyfriend wanted me to get off the site completely. I did. I printed off all my poems which took a long time and removed all my work form the site. It was a sad day. I havent written any poetry since. I did finally break up with that guy. It hit me hard when my friend and her parents got storm stayed at my home and my boyfriend was mad that I talked to my friends dad who was a pastor! I told him i needed to have healthy brother figures and father figures in my life and he was trying to stop that. How should i not be allowed to talk to a visitor in my home and a pastor. He apologized but i broke up with him shortly after when i realize he wanted to ask me to marry him I knew I could never say yes to that.

Moving on, I met my husband after this relationship and found so much healing. He was a true brother and great friend before we ever expressed interest in each other. I am still wounded by the fact that my poetry is gone and I miss writing so much. It was a great outlet and ministry!

So many many years later (married 12 years now!) I am still wishing i could have all my poetry online again and start writing again. At Moms group today I was thinking about how Blessed I am and im thriving at this point doing so many things I love with my life. Then I realized this prayer request: That I would feel up for typing up my poems one at a time. It feels so overwhelming and I still have not forgiven that ex boyfriend, or myself <3

I wrote down my prayer request and then felt inspired to write a poem about motherhood. someday I will add that here... But for now I would like to open up this Blog as a Space to slowly start typing up my poems again <3 My husband is encouraging me to as well and other Christian friends so we will see. I may even be able to figure out how to scan and convert the page to text... that would make it easy! I'm hopeful.

Here goes! Stay Tuned.

Cheryl <><